Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast

Kate Nichols: From Hidden Drinking to Empowered Sobriety

June 30, 2024 Isabella Ferguson and Meg Webb Season 2 Episode 88
Kate Nichols: From Hidden Drinking to Empowered Sobriety
Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast
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Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast
Kate Nichols: From Hidden Drinking to Empowered Sobriety
Jun 30, 2024 Season 2 Episode 88
Isabella Ferguson and Meg Webb

What if your dependence on alcohol not only jeopardised your health but also strained your most treasured relationships? This week, we have the privilege of speaking with Kate Nichols, an inspiring alcohol recovery coach who shares her heartfelt journey from university drinking habits to a life of sobriety. Kate's candidness about hiding her drinking and its emotional toll on her family will resonate deeply with anyone who has faced similar struggles.

As Kate recounts the pivotal moment that led her to confront her addiction—Father's Day 2021, amidst the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic—she illuminates the transformative power of sobriety. We explore how embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle has brought clarity, improved relationships, and a newfound sense of purpose. Kate's reflections on shifting from nighttime socialising to early morning adventures are both uplifting and thought-provoking, offering a roadmap for those seeking change.

Throughout our conversation, Kate emphasises the importance of support systems like podcasts, books, and sober communities. She offers hope and practical advice for navigating social situations without alcohol, underscoring the benefits of mental clarity and healthier relationships. Don't miss this empowering episode that highlights the profound impact of taking responsibility for one's actions and embracing a sober lifestyle.

Kate's website:  www.freedomaffect.com 
Instagram: kate_sobrietyandfitness 

MEG

Megan Webb: https://glassfulfilled.com.au
Instagram: @glassfulfilled
Unwined Bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

BELLA

Isabella Ferguson: https://isabellaferguson.com.au
Instagram: @alcoholandstresswithisabella
Free 5-Day DO I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? Clarify and focus series: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/doIhaveadrinkingproblemwithisabellaferguson
Alcohol Freedom Small Group Challenge - Register here: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/alcoholfreedomchallenge
The Alcohol Revolution 6-Week Program (Online or Podcast): ...

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What if your dependence on alcohol not only jeopardised your health but also strained your most treasured relationships? This week, we have the privilege of speaking with Kate Nichols, an inspiring alcohol recovery coach who shares her heartfelt journey from university drinking habits to a life of sobriety. Kate's candidness about hiding her drinking and its emotional toll on her family will resonate deeply with anyone who has faced similar struggles.

As Kate recounts the pivotal moment that led her to confront her addiction—Father's Day 2021, amidst the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic—she illuminates the transformative power of sobriety. We explore how embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle has brought clarity, improved relationships, and a newfound sense of purpose. Kate's reflections on shifting from nighttime socialising to early morning adventures are both uplifting and thought-provoking, offering a roadmap for those seeking change.

Throughout our conversation, Kate emphasises the importance of support systems like podcasts, books, and sober communities. She offers hope and practical advice for navigating social situations without alcohol, underscoring the benefits of mental clarity and healthier relationships. Don't miss this empowering episode that highlights the profound impact of taking responsibility for one's actions and embracing a sober lifestyle.

Kate's website:  www.freedomaffect.com 
Instagram: kate_sobrietyandfitness 

MEG

Megan Webb: https://glassfulfilled.com.au
Instagram: @glassfulfilled
Unwined Bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

BELLA

Isabella Ferguson: https://isabellaferguson.com.au
Instagram: @alcoholandstresswithisabella
Free 5-Day DO I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? Clarify and focus series: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/doIhaveadrinkingproblemwithisabellaferguson
Alcohol Freedom Small Group Challenge - Register here: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/alcoholfreedomchallenge
The Alcohol Revolution 6-Week Program (Online or Podcast): ...

Speaker 1:

Hi everyone. Today on the podcast I have Kate Nicholls, and Kate is an alcohol recovery coach. She's also a former social worker turned fitness instructor. Welcome to the podcast, kate.

Speaker 2:

Oh, thanks for having me, megan. It's lovely to see you.

Speaker 1:

You too, it's a pleasure. So could we start with you telling us about your alcohol journey.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I've now been alcohol free for nearly three years. It'll be three years this August and I was thinking about what to share with you and the first thing that came to mind is the fact that I was never really, you know, desperately unhappy as a drinker, was never really, you know, desperately unhappy as a drinker. I knew my drinking was out of control and I knew that it was causing damage emotionally with my family. But I was kind of a happy drinker. I would drink to socialise and be with friends and I never really drank because I was sad or I felt stressed. It was always to celebrate. So I was kind of quite happy with my drinking and what I would say is that it started quite a young age.

Speaker 2:

I, you know, drank at university. I drank when I studied with friends. We would always take wine to each other's homes with friends. We would always take wine to each other's homes. Um, I drank throughout university and what I noticed was that when other people started to evolve and maybe other things became more important to them, like careers and family, or they just got out the habit of drinking, I noticed that I didn't and that drinking remained very important to me and you know, it just was and it was. You know, I never really grew out of it is the best way I can describe it. So, fast forward, I met my husband and he likes to drink. He still drinks, you know, now, but he had a very different belief system around drinking. He likes the odd beer. He will have a drink with friends, but then he'll call it a day.

Speaker 2:

Whereas I loved the intoxication of alcohol, I was a wine drinker and if I had one I got the buzz and I just wanted the second and the third and the fourth, and subsequently my tolerance increased. It was important to me to keep drinking. And then what I noticed and I couldn't even give a date to this, but it was probably in my twenties, thirties I started to hide alcohol because I found that I was needing more and I was embarrassed about the amount that I was able to drink. So you know, like you know, just drinking, getting through a bottle of wine, I mean I didn't want to be visible doing that, so I would go a bit underground and that kind of concerned me. But I used to think, oh well, you know what, it's just my little thing and everyone's got something, and I don't smoke and I don't this. So I thought, well, you know what, it's just my little thing and everyone's got something, and I don't smoke and I don't this. So I thought, well, you know, I'll just keep that to myself.

Speaker 2:

And then I have my children that are now 26, my daughter, my son's, 24. And they grew up being very aware that mom drunk, you know as they got into their teenage years they would comment and say things like oh, mom, mommy, why are you just drinking wine? You know, on your own, you're not going out, you don't have girlfriends around. And I'd say, oh, you know. And then they did occasionally catch me, kind of hiding it in places, which is really embarrassing. And then I'd say, the turning point really came with COVID, and it wasn't that I was drinking more, but it was very, very plain to me how important alcohol was.

Speaker 2:

And at the time we were not going out, and you know we were only going out for essential things and I would be panicking about not having enough wine, you know, and I'd find ways to buy it and I'd find excuses to go out so I could buy it, so that I had enough. And again I was hiding it in places and getting it in the house and it really struck me that you know what this is really not who I am. And then, in the summer of 21, 2021, I really let the family down. I mean, I had been over a number of years, but it was Father's Day and my husband whoever's special day is they dictate what they want to do. And my husband said oh you know, it's a lovely summer's day in June I'm going to do yard work, and then about eight o'clock tonight we could have a barbecue, we could have a few beers, and it was a Sunday and my drinking had become more during the day, not during the week, because I've always worked, but during the weekend.

Speaker 2:

I found that it was getting earlier and earlier because I was having such brutal hangovers and it was a case of, um, you know I'd have a drink and it would the hair of the dog, you know it would take off the edge. So I was drinking not to feel good but to feel better. And um, on this particular father's day, I found an excuse to go out. I knew some friends would be celebrating in their yard and I deliberately went so that I'd be invited in to drink with them. And I came home at four and my family looked at me, you know, they just looked at me and they said mom, it's dad's day, why are you drinking, you know? And I just, oh, it was only a glass, but of course it was more than that. And they went off, and they went out, and they left me at home and and I just felt so wretched, I felt so desperate, but I had what I now know, which is cognitive dissonance, you know, which is, you know, a tug of war in the brain. I knew I wanted to do something about it, but my subconscious, my, my ego habit, my ritual way of living, was just drawing me back into. Well, you know, it's comfortable, it's pleasurable, it gives you that instant gratification. Just do it, you know. Anyway, so I was pressured into by the family to address it. And I said I would, because I don't know anything about AA or recovery things. But I didn't want to be one of those people who did that. I just didn't. So I said, leave it with me.

Speaker 2:

And I searched for quick literature, you know know, and I came across, uh, this naked mind, um, who I'm now a certified coach with, and her book, annie Grace's book, was all about controlling your relationship with alcohol and I thought, yeah, I'm gonna do that because I'm gonna be. I'm never gonna give up because I don't want to live a life not even having the odd drink. But I'm going to become like other people. I'm going to be a normal drinker, I'm going to be someone who just has a glass of wine. And I read the book and it was like she was talking to me, you know, and it was that's me, that's me, that's me. And even then I wasn't prepared to stop.

Speaker 2:

But the turning point came when I spent about six weeks trying to moderate and I realized it was impossible, because one glass of wine meant I wanted four or five and I wanted the bottle and it was a lot more painful for me to have one glass than not. So in August 2021, when, oh, I'd gone out and I promised I'd never hide it. And, oh my gosh, and I came home and I was hitting, hitting the bottle in the closet, and my husband said you're doing what you said you wouldn't do. What are you going to do? What are you going to do about this? And I said I'm going to stop. So I did and I never drank again.

Speaker 2:

And then after that, I learned more about this naked mind and I did a five day course with them and then I enrolled on a year long, a year long program called the Path, and that was when I realized I wanted to be an alcohol freedom coach and the rest. And then, you know, I did, and that's what I did. So what I would say is I would say that I was never unhappy, but I was. I was only half living. I was never unhappy, but I was only half living, because, since I've been alcohol free, my life is so rich, it's so good, my relationships are fantastic. I nearly lost my daughter over drinking. I really nearly lost her over it, and now we're the best of friends. My son has got a side hustle going on and he helps me with my platform, my business, my marketing, we touch base most days and we chat, so he's become my partner and my ally. My relationship with my husband, I mean in the thick of this. He said he was going to go to Airbnbs at the weekend. He couldn't being with me, and that was. You know at the time that it really got bad and now we, we have a fantastic relationship. Um, so so that's really good.

Speaker 2:

Um, so you mentioned, megan, at the beginning, that I'm a fitness instructor. Um, I haven't been a social worker since I left england in 2008, partly because it's very hard to just slot back into a profession when you're in a different continent. But I did become a fitness instructor and I still do it, as well as my coaching. And in my drinking days, getting up on a Monday morning and teaching a class at nine o'clock, I'd have to set the alarm, you know, for 8.30 and I'd run out the door. I was nauseous, I was, my skin was awful, I had rosacea, I had bad psoriasis, both of which have gone. They cleared up three months after. I? Um stopped drinking and I used to be teaching a class thinking I was going to pass out from the dehydration and just dizziness because I had a poison in my system, you know. And then, now that I don't drink, I'm well. My skin conditions are. I lost, um, quite a lot of weight. Um, my eyes are clear, you know. Everything is how it should be because I'm in balance, you know, and the exercise became, became a joy to do, because I exercise anyway in my life.

Speaker 2:

And the other thing I wanted to talk about was my traveling, because my husband and I we met in Australia as backpackers 30 years ago and we're both English, but we, we, we both went to Australia separately. Um, he went with university friends and I I went on my own with a girlfriend and we met and we spent a year traveling around Australia, which I loved, by the way, your neck of the woods, I just love Australia and then we went to Thailand for two months and we came home and we settled in England, where we're from, and we we started to, you know, we um bought a house and got our jobs and our careers going. So the we never went back to Australia, but it was always our hope to do global long-haul traveling once the kids left, when we became empty nesters, and, um, we're in our second year of doing that. So last year we went to the galapagos and the amazon and we've just come back from cambodia and vietnam. And we also go to England regularly because we are English.

Speaker 2:

And the reason I'm mentioning these types of holidays is because I don't. I'm because I feel so well as a, as a person who doesn't drink. I now I'm into, you know, early morning excursions. I, you know, I want to be up, I want to be seeing the sunrise. In Cambodia, we went to see the temples and we went to sunrise and all these things, and none of it goes hand in hand with drinking, because you just don't want to be doing that.

Speaker 2:

And I must admit I have changed in that I'm not a nighttime person now and I don't really like going to bars and pubs, but that's okay because my friends who are my friends, have remained sober. The one only really wanted to hang out with me because I was their boozing partner. They've gone by the wayside more and that's fine, because I think that's a natural involvement of moving on and that you find that maybe you haven't got in common with people, that you, they were your drinking buddies and really that was what you had in common. Uh, so things have changed for sure, um, but I'd say definitely for the for the better, um, and uh, life's just so, so great. So so that's my story, uh, kind of most of it.

Speaker 1:

well, it's amazing. I love your story, I relate to a lot of it and, um, it's, it's a huge. When I was listening to you, I was just realizing what a huge thing it is to stop drinking. And I, I know that, but I don't say it uh enough, because, just talking about your kids, it it really is, um, changing their lives as well. And to go from you said you nearly lost your daughter over drinking, so did I and to now be someone they trust more than anyone else in the world, and it's, it's just life-changing and we're being our authentic self. They got us back again and that's a really, really special thing. So, you know, congratulations on your being alcohol free and what you, what you did. Because, like you said, moderation, we all try it, we all want to hold on onto that alcohol, but so it's a big thing. We didn't think we could do it beforehand. And then here we are, so amazing and I love what you said about you couldn't have, or having one drink was more painful than having none. Yeah, and I completely, completely relate to that. But I just want to go back.

Speaker 1:

So there were so many things I'm like oh, yes, yes, that was me that was me, but so one of them. You were talking about COVID and I totally. It just took me straight back to the buying. The wine was the top of our list and because they couldn't shut the alcohol shops because of people's dependence, like it was insane but it was very enabling. But it reminded me that I used to be very, very worried because in Sydney when someone broke the COVID rules, they were splattered across the news, including where they'd been shopping, wow. So I was very worried, yeah, that it would come up how often I'd been to the bottle shop. I mean, I bet a lot of us were worried about that. But crazy times, hey, yeah, yeah, just so enabling, yeah. So I totally related to that.

Speaker 1:

And then Father's Day, you know that really pulled at my heart because so sad for you. This is the thing we're addicted to, this bloody substance, that it is addictive and we come out and go. How could I do that? But it's not actually what we learn in this Naked Mind. It's not our fault, but it is our responsibility to make that change and that's what you've done. So I'm so glad there's a happy ending to that, because I just felt. I felt that and I've been in those situations too. So how is your family now? I know you said you've got good relationships with all of them, is it? Is it just so different now to have that trust?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's incomparable. And when you were talking just then, it reminded me of something else that my daughter said. That really, really tugged at me. But I now understand what she meant and I now understand why I carried on drinking. She used to ask me to get help and I used to say, oh, it's not that bad, it's not that bad, it's not that bad. And she once said to me you prefer alcohol to the family. And I was like, don't be silly. She said, you love alcohol more than you love us, basically. And I was like, well, of course I don't, but I kind of did. Do you know what I mean? It was crazy because at that moment I still knew I wasn't going to stop drinking, even though she'd said that to me, because I couldn't. Partly I didn't want to, but I did want to, but I didn't. You'll know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Back to the tug of war, the cognitive dissonance. But it was like. It was like such a part of who I was, it was my identity, I couldn't imagine life without it. And when she said that, it was like, oh, just push it under the carpet, push it under the carpet. But when I did challenge my relationship with alcohol and I started to understand the substance and understand that I was just like you say I was. I'd become prey to an addictive substance. It wasn't my fault, but it was my responsibility and I did learn to think differently. You know like that's what we're taught as coaches that if you you change the way you feel, then the behavior becomes more natural because you repeat the, the thoughts that become your beliefs, and and through repetition and experience we can rewire our, our way of thinking. And now I realize that I was trapped, um, and it wasn't my fault, but it was my, my, um, you know my responsibility.

Speaker 2:

but back to your actual question I I just can't describe how wonderful it is. I mean, I've just been to England and my daughter and I, we, we went to London for the day and we laugh and we cry and we, you know, we giggle about things and we have the same interests and she's such good company and I know I mean I'm gonna cry when I say this, but she gave me a Mother's Day card and she wrote in it how proud she was of me and and just because she sees me now as this woman who is thriving and is growing and is self-developing because you know yourself, megan, that it is a journey that doesn't stop the freedom, the liberation, the self-worth and the education and the knowledge and we're always learning as coaches and in our lives in general.

Speaker 2:

And she says Mom, I'm so proud of you because you've become this woman that I so respect. And she didn't respect me before and I don't blame her, so it's wonderful. And my son, you know he wasn't as bothered about my drinking but he now helps me with my business, you know. So he's seen me and he helps me and you know, every day we chat on the phone and he lives in Montreal. He's six hours. Every day we chat on the phone and he lives in Montreal. He's six hours away. But we have a fantastic relationship.

Speaker 2:

And he hardly drinks, megan, he doesn't even want to drink. He says I just am not interested. I've seen how great your life is and I think it is. And I don't know if you agree with me, but I think with the young people it's not as prevalent as it was when we were young or when I was younger. You know, everyone drank, you know. But now I think people are not. There's a movement again moving away from it and my husband and I we just get on so well. You know, now we are a bit different. He'll do his own thing at night and he will have a bar, a beer, and when he does, I just say, well, I'm going to go and do something else, and he respects that. That's fine. I don't really want to sit with him while he's drinking beer, and he respects that, that's fine.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's beautiful and I love that. Your daughter wrote that I had. My daughter recently gave me a Mother's Day card and it was very similar and there was how she was proud and she thought I was strong. And you know, that's the reward because we have to live this for them to trust us. It's, it's um, it's not about just saying I'll do it. They've, like you said, we said that before. They've seen that didn't work, so we had to be patient. I well, I had to be patient, I'm sure you'll understand to get to that point for them to go. Oh, they're doing it, she's doing it, yeah.

Speaker 1:

But it's such a massive, massive tug of war because of all the mums I know who drink. We love our kids more than anything in the whole world. I mean, there's no doubt I see drinkers as extra sensitive, extra strong people, but it's that it reminds me of that. You know the monkey's hand in the cage and they can't get it out. But if they let go they'd be free. And we're holding on to this substance because we didn't know how to let it go. But we want to be that person for our kids and everything. But thankfully we learned to let go, yeah, and to be on this path, but, um, it's.

Speaker 1:

It's lovely to hear how good your relationships are now. And for anyone that is stuck in the cycle of drinking and and maybe even feels it's not possible, it really really is, and it's small steps. We didn't do this overnight, you know. Like you said, I started the same way, reaching out and finding quick lit books, and then now there's podcasts, like people listening to this. That's a step in the right direction, it's a process. So, just even by listening to this, people are changing the neural pathways in a small way, and that's the first step. So, for anyone that feels they don't have hope or they're not where they want to be yet, it is absolutely possible, and that's what you and I are here for as well to help people in the same situations.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I love when you mention hope and belief in yourself and I think if I can change, you can change people. The listeners can change anything's possible and I'm a real believer in hope and I'm a real believer in positivity and, as a coach, a lot of people say to me but how can I go out and enjoy myself and not drink? Or how can I do this and not drink? And advice and guidance I always give is picture yourself doing it successfully.

Speaker 2:

Picture yourself at that party or that gathering, and picture yourself showing up in a way that you're really proud of. You're going to be articulate, present, engaging, engaged. You're going to be talking. You know, in the present time and when I think about how I was, I thought I was cool and I'd have a few drinks and I'd get chatty and start doing stuff. But I embarrassed myself and my family used to tell me I didn't see it myself.

Speaker 2:

But they now they love being with me when we go out, you know, because they I've got something to say and I'm I talk sense and I'm not going to be all you know. I mean my face when you drink. You know I've seen pictures of myself. It's like sunken and my eyes are drooping and I'm dancing all over the place and that's not nice. They don't want to see their mom like that. So I'd say hope and and belief and and self-trust and you can. And to reach out for support as well. You know there are so many avenues these days, with podcasts, like you're doing, um, and quick lit books and communities where you can go out and be with like-minded people. Because support is so essential, isn't it to be with one another?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and you mentioned before you know you don't.

Speaker 1:

You're not a night person anymore, and neither am I. But you also mentioned how your days, like when you travel, they're filled with mornings and sunsets and sunrises and beautiful experiences, and it just made me reflect on why I thought nights were so important anyway, like they were. Not only was I doing exactly what you just said and embarrassing myself and all sorts of things, but it was draining, like where our bodies are designed to sleep, right. So I was just going against that every night and it was an issue for me and it is with some clients to say, well, I won't be fun anymore, I won't have fun anymore, you know that kind of thing. But it's like I won't have fun anymore. You know that kind of thing, but it's like whatever made me think nights were the fun time, like days are so amazing. And I've got the same thing with friends, the ones that I'm still friends with. We do brunches and lunches and walks, and I just got back from a retreat in Thailand. I went with Ellie Crow, who's someone we we coach with. Yeah, and it was like you said sober traveling is next level. I cannot believe how many holidays previously I slept through, you know, hung over, and to experience everything this time around was just. I'm excited for the future travel opportunities because I, like you, each year I've. I'm currently single, but I know there are groups I can travel with who are sober people, and that excites me because I know I still have these opportunities to do with other people or I can do them alone and that's that's really cool, that there are these opportunities. So I say to anyone that might be thinking you know what will travel? Look like it's just me. Well, there are lots of groups out there who do travel together now, so that's been a really exciting development.

Speaker 1:

But you also made me think of the you mentioned working hungover. Oh, I don't miss that. I do not know. Do you know how many people I have met who are either fitness instructors like you, yoga, all the health instructors that have gone to work or do hungover all the time? I would go to work every day hungover and I worked with kids with autism. I still do, and that's hard enough. But I would have to go to the bathroom while I felt like I was going to work every day hungover and I worked with kids with autism. I still do, and that's hard enough, but I would have to go to the bathroom while I felt like I was going to be sick, just to let that wave of nausea pass. It's just awful, isn't it? So I don't know how you did exercise.

Speaker 2:

I know, not very easily, and I would be perspiring. I mean I was going to say sweating but perspiring. I mean I was going to say sweating but perspiring. And I used, and you know also, alcohol really stays on your breath and it seeps through your pores and I used to. My family would tell me, mum, you still smell of wine, you know, and I'd be like eating peppermints and it still comes through. And I love that also, that I now know that you know that I'm fresh and that I'm not perspiring and all those things that were so compromised as a drinker. Because you are compromised, aren't you? You're trying to get rid of this, these toxins and um, and it's just so nice not to have that baggage, isn't't it? That baggage that was over you. You still did it, even though you knew how it would be. On Monday morning. I'm still going to drink all weekend, crazy. But I was still, and that is the trap we were in.

Speaker 2:

But going back to something that came to mind very quickly is when you said about nighttime people. I don't know about you, but I would be down in my basement with a bottle of wine, watching my Netflix show, and the next morning I couldn't even tell you what happened, and I'd have to go and watch it all over again. So really I was just in a like a numb nothing state where I was probably staring and just thinking of something else. Oh, and I don't know if you ever did the drunk texting, did you go texting people? And oh my god, I used to.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes I've even had friends tell me, um, come to me and say, oh, are we meeting up next week? And I didn't even know what they were talking about.

Speaker 1:

I totally have done. I did that a lot and you know what? The worst thing I did was Drunk text and then delete it. So I didn't even remember that I'd written it and then people would say something and I couldn't even look at what I'd written. I knew at the time I'd be embarrassed, I'd delete it and then the next day I didn't remember. I'm like oh and that shame and embarrassment, but absolutely and the tv shows.

Speaker 2:

Every single time, I forgot that I'd watched and yeah, oh my god. So, yeah, such waste of time. And one thing as coaches, we know that when people say what do I do with the, with the, the hours that I was drinking, you know, and I'm bored, I drank because I was. What am I going to do? And, as I don't know about you, but we talk about as coaches, creativity, get creative. Yeah, you know, and for you and I I don't know what else you've done, but like we became coaches, you know what I mean. So that's how I filled my void. I I got um, you know, I basically um went on a journey of um, of development, yeah, and yes, and this is lovely because you and I, we've been there, we, we, we know what it's like to be on the other side, but we've come through it and we're now on our side, and so I know that I'm so passionate as a coach because I know how much better it is yeah, the coaching has been amazing and I'm always doing self-help.

Speaker 1:

I love that and I've started things like pickleball and resume netball and and I go out on there's a group called meet up in Sydney some alcohol-free adventures, and I've made a good friend through that and we're probably going to team up and do something together in the business world and it's just opened up so many doors and I think, yeah, the trick is to try some things that you liked before you were a drinker and I've met some people who have gone back and are doing things like rowing again. You know sporty things like the tennis and that, but it can be anything. Someone is knitting scarves and things and baby clothes and they used to love that. You know it is reconnecting with our authentic self and sometimes you might go no, didn't like it, but try, try some things and so much opens up. But when you were talking, it made me realize as well, as coaches, we have so much compassion for people who are drinking, because you are not a bad person.

Speaker 1:

It's when you were saying you know, you just felt terrible, as I did at work. We didn't want to feel like that. If we could have stopped that and we could have stopped it there, and then for our families, for ourselves, we would have. So I don't want anyone to think they're doing something wrong or they're not a good person. This is so not about you as a person. No, usually I say it's the deep feelers trying to stop feeling for a bit and then, on the other side, is we learn to feel those feelings. Don't be scared, because that's what makes us who we are and we can help with that. So, kate, can I ask where people can find you your website? And I will put all of it in the show notes, but just let us know what you offer yeah, yeah, so my website is um freedom effect.

Speaker 2:

Now people think it's effect, it's affect, so it's wwwfreedomaffect A-F-F-E-C-T. Um, and all my social medias on that. Um. On Instagram I'm, uh, kate sobriety fitness. Um, and the reason that's named differently is because I I named that before I named my business and I didn't really want to change it because it's too much hassle. But, yeah, the website is freedom effect and uh, yeah, and I I just love this work. I'm so passionate about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, me too. So what's what's um gonna happen for Kate in the future? What do you have planned?

Speaker 2:

I love my sport. I'm a big golf player. I've been playing today because we're different sides of the world, you and me. I'm in Canada, you're in Australia. Um, I've also become a runner, so I do a 5k park run every Saturday morning. Um, I'm very active. So really I still do my exercise. I exercise a lot. So every day I run, I do weights, I then do my job. I do 10 exercises I've just dropped it from 16, but I do 10 exercise classes a week. Then I've got my coaching business, so I'm pretty busy, and then I've got my coaching business, so I'm pretty busy. Um the family, but carrying on as I'm going, really nothing. You know my, my long trek, holidays um, I feel very lucky to be able to to do that. My health I'm very grateful for my health. My energy um, I do believe a lot of it comes from um being alcohol free. My sleep so much better. So just my energy, my health and really just doing what I'm doing. So nothing, nothing hugely different.

Speaker 1:

Oh, sounds amazing. But I mean imagine trying to do all that Hanover. So it's opened up a lot of opportunities and doors for you. So that's amazing, sounds wonderful. So if anyone wants to reach out to Kate, you can look in the show notes or, yeah, go to your website and they'll find you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much, Megan.

Speaker 1:

Well, it's been such a pleasure having you on, Kate. Thank you so much for coming on.

Speaker 2:

And thank you so much for having me, and I love your work. I'm so impressed with what you're doing, you and your partner, and it's just you're doing such good work, such valuable work. So good luck with what you're doing in your journey and your career. So thank you so much for having me. Thank you, kate. Thanks a lot.

Kate Nicholls' Alcohol Recovery Journey
Traveling and Family Dynamics After Sobriety
Navigating Sobriety and Rediscovery
Support and Gratitude in Sobriety